Snickerfodder

Hoop Dreams Alive!

Posted on: October 5, 2009

 

The hoop has been resurrected!

 

 

El Guapo simply sawed off the 6″ bottom portion of the bent pole, and we’re back in biz!

Get ready, Shyster; El Guapo says ain’t no way it was rust or wind that did’er in; he even STOOD on the sawed-off section — that thing, even bent, was solid! 

 

 (Post hoc ergo propter hoc:  Rudus Dudus vadum subsisto —

assholius maximus infinitus.)

 

However, The Viv has made some technical adjustments to the new, improved hoop.  It is now equipped  with motion sensor cameras, a bullhorn and a dartgun.

If the hoop is ever again compromised in any way, the cameras will trip the bullhorn to blast non-stop:

 

SPHINCTER ALERT!

 

The dartgun will fire thousands of needles tipped with a potent chemical which attacks the attacker’s gonads, rendering them permanently useless.

 

Word to the wise, here, boys and girls:

  

You mess with The Viv’s ballplay, she’ll mess with yours.

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2 Responses to "Hoop Dreams Alive!"

As ever, I await your command to let fly with the subpoenas. Please inform your loving husband that motion sensor booby traps are an entirely fitting precaution, because, if my recollection of his skills holds true, at no time will a basketball come close enough to the hoop so as to set off the alarms.

Shyster,

How right you are, sir!

To further facilitate my hubby’s return to his ‘Golden Years’ of b-ball, on the driveway’s sideline I have installed an exact replica of a KHS bench — complete with a cast of his scrawny ass. A life-sized bronze of Comb-Over Sam about to throw a thrombo sits at the end.

Ah, the good old days….

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