Pitter-Patters and Heartthrobs
Posted October 16, 2009on:
Declaring my puppycrush on Dr. D. has made me think…
(back away slowly and take cover)
Though, for better or for worse, The Dingus is my man. For whatever reason, he worships the very ground I tread.
And let’s be honest; AIN’T NO OTHER MAN could put up with my SHIT.
So, I guess I’ll keep him.
But, as long as I’m baring my soul, I might as well tell the whole frippin’ world just who-the-hell-else makes my heart go pitter-pat.
I must warn you, though;
The Viv sees ‘sexy’ in more than the physical.
Age matters not (unless it enhances one’s appeal).
Let’s start with The Usual Suspects:
Brad Pitt (The Yummiest)
Oh, hell, ANGELINA, too.
Jon Bon J(oops, fainted there for a sec)ovi
Robert Pattinson (whew! BITE ME! BITE ME!)
Zac Efron (Cougar bait — he has ‘happy eyes’ like The Dingus)
Andy Garcia (especially in When A Man Loves a Woman)
Kurt Russell (3000 Miles to Graceland and Death Proof —
Damn! Where are my cigarettes?!)
Toby Keith (a good, THICK man)
Matthew McConaidoncarehowtospellit (it’s the dimples)
Mel Gibson (especially as simple Tim)
And the rather UNUSUAL sexy beasts:
Troy Polamalu (I’ll take any number, really…43…69…it’ll end with 911…)
Goldberg!!!!! (I DID tell him I’d leave The Dingus in a heartbeat for him;
neither he nor The Dingus flinched.)
Albert Finney (ever seen Wolfen? my, oh my…)
Robert Redford (esp. in The Horse Whisperer)
Robert Downey, Jr. (dope and all)
Kevin Spacey (Verbal sealed it — particularly the gimp)
Jeff Bridges (The DUDE!)
Tommy Lee Jones (when he’s orderin’ everyone to search
every outhouse, henhouse and penthouse)
Ben Kingsley (THE Sexy Beast himself)
Gary Oldman (as the young Dracula; HEART BE STILL!)
John Malkovich (as himself)
Sam Elliott (it’s the voice, it’s the ‘stache, it’s the
salt’n’pepper hair, the jeans, that slow, easy-goin’ manner….)
That kid from the freecreditreport.com commercials
Chevy Chase (the giggle! AND the dimple!)
Jesse James (vroom-vroom!)
Richard Gere (especially tappin’ in Chicago
and when my mom, an extra,
walks behind him in Mothman)
Jeff Goldblum (just not when he was a fly)
Michael Sheen (as Lucien, not that pansy Frost)
Mr. Ed (his Fab-O mane and deep voice;
Geez! — what were YOU thinkin’?)
Danny DeVito (in Cuckoo’s Nest — a babydoll!)
Robert DeNiro (the ‘tude! and that stare)
Timothy Hutton (happy eyes)
Harry Connick, Jr. (just plain HOT)
Stephen King (the sick, twisted, brilliant mind)
Quentin Tarantino (ditto)
Nicholas Cage (since Valley Girl)
Michael Madsen (Mr. Blonde from Reservoir Dogs)
Hoyt Axton (the voice)
Wilford Brimley (the ‘stache AND the voice!
…makes me pine for sugar…)
James Earl Jones (the whole big package)
Anthony Hopkins (it’s the accent, the style, that debonair air)
Jon Stewart (the wit and the goofy expressions)
Adam Sandler (what a cutie!)
Tim Robbins (folks say The Dingus looks like him;
oh! maybe THAT’S WHY I love him!)
Unfortunately, these boys are out of reach.