Snickerfodder

Happy New Year – 2010!

Posted on: January 2, 2010

 

 

 

Happy New Year, folks!

 

 

 

Have YOU made any resolutions?

 

 

 

I certainly have.

 

 

 

THIS year, I shan’t  resort

to my annual resolution of  eliminating

 foul language and all four-letter verbiage.

(a TOTAL wash) 

 

 

The Viv cannot operate under a G-rated restriction.

 

 

Can I get a HELL to the No?!

 

 

 

No, THIS year, I, Sassy Viv,

hereby resolve to

 

 INCREASE

 

my limited

epithet repertoire.

 

 

 

I have worn the fuck outa’ ‘fuck‘.

 

 

 

For me, it simply doesn’t

pack the punch

that it used to.

(OOOH! A final preposition? Tsk. Tsk.)

 

 

 

I’m bored with ‘fuck’.

 

 

 

FUCK‘ is so OVER for The Viv.

 

 

 

(Well, that and the fact that I’m concerned my kid

 will respond with a snappy,

Fuck ‘dat!

when her teacher instructs her to submit

her addition homework.)

  

 

 

Nay, THIS year,

 

The Viv solemnly vows

 

to incorporate some sassy

 

SPANISH vulgarity

 

into her tired and overused lexicon.

 

 

 

 

I shall attempt to

 

 REPLACE

 

more of my go-to comfies

 

with colorful,

 

intriguing conjugations

 

en español.

 

 

 

 

Over the years,

 

I have tried

 

in vain

 

 to stop cursing.

 

 

 

No can do,  chiflados.

 

 

 

 

¡A LA CHINGADA!

 

 

  

 

Vulgarity

 is my heroin.

 (mi chocolate de fu man chu)

 

 

 

 It is my sanity; my release.

 

 

 

 

Were it not for cussin’

 

and for my lover, Nick,  (O’Tine),

 

I’d have ended up

 

in the hoosegow long ago.

 

 

 

 

I’m a connoisseur

 of language.

 

 

 

 

(Oui, I’ve mastered the jodido FRENCH, no?…) 

 

 

 

  

I fancy myself a wordsmith.

 

 

 

Aye!

 

Carl Sandburg,

yo soy una maldita puta.

 

 

LET ME WORK!

 

 

 

 

¡Feliz Jodido Año Nuevo!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: