The Bon Vivant, or The Flight of The Viv

Posted on: July 30, 2010






 is one of The Viv’s faVorite words.   



I would venture to say that it’s one of everyone’s faVorites. 

Not just because it’s fun to say and that it starts with the letter ‘V’.   

The attraction of the very word lies within the concept of  VACATING her day-to-day-mind-numbing-hellish LIFE.   

For The Viv,  the mere idea of VACATING and ESCAPING that oft-wretched suckfest of a life for one, measly frickin’ week a year

happens to be the lifeblood, that magic elixir, that gets her through the other miserable 51 weeks. 



The Viv


for that single, precious, sustaining


wherein she enjoys being





The Bon Vivant.









     To FLEE!  









   Most days —






(including a well-padded maximum-security facility) 

(with really good food)





But, for that single-precious-sustaining semana,


The Bon Viv chooses,




to be in









   There simply is



 I’d rather be. 







   In fact,

  I want to








It is my DREAM to live in one o’ those quaint little cottages on the boardwalk (preferably somewhere between 6th and 16th streets),

to wake every day to the brown ocean slapping the man-made jetty, and to spend my lazy days on my cute little porch gawking the

vacationers in their Sunsations-seasonal-skankwear parading and/or making dunderhead decisions in driving various non-motorized

vehicles up and down the boards. 









As for dying in OCMD,

I, Sassy Viv,

 do hereby decree

my desire

to be







I wish for my leathery cadaver  

to be 


on the Bull on the Beach fryers. 





I want The Dingus

to put me into a lashed harness

(with 320 lb. twisted poly line, of course),

ram a sturdy spar and spreader

 up my crispy ass,

and then launch

my charred carcass

in front of


The Kite Loft


to allow my CinderViv self

to scatter 

across the boards and the beach. 






my cremation will take place

on a day with a wind 

that will carry my ashes

five blocks south

so that

Randy Hofman



a little of

The Viv

into his Jesus sand sculptures.  





That’s the closest to


The Viv will get.







                      Yep, even The Viv!







Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

    • Nibby: The world needs more 'fodder'....(and so does your little bro Nibby). Get back to work slack-ass. Just read your post on Toby chumming the Trooper
    • Sassy Viv: Thanks, Mr. Pete! Honestly, I've been too busy to go to town on it. It's gonna be a bear, I know. Thanks for the comment and for stopping by!
    • petedenton: I totally agree about having a preview button. Good luck with the rebuild!
    %d bloggers like this: