Snickerfodder

Posts Tagged ‘drugs

 
 
 
   

The Viv’s Sassy Addictions:

  
  
 
 
 

 

Chocolate?           Check.

Nicotine?              Check.

Thrifting?              Check.

Vampire Porn?    Check.

Blogging?             Check.

Sarcasm?              Check.

Blasphemy?         Check.

FACEBOOK?       CHECK!

 

 

 

Yes, it’s true;

The Viv has sunk to an all-time LOW.

 

 

Though she used to LEAD workshops on AVOIDING and OVERCOMING peer pressure, she herself has become a victim of it.

 

 

Our sassygirl is now hopelessly

ADDICTED to FACEBOOK.

 

 

 

 

It’s a damn shame.

 

 

 

She fought the hard fight for a couple of years, but the attraction to reaching out to old pals was a force even she could not resist.

 

 

The Viv is one of those persons who is addicted to addictions.

 

 

It is a bona fide MIRACLE she didn’t do street drugs.

 

 

The SassMaster teeters on the brink of insanity; she is on rehab standby.

 

She has not been away from Facebook longer than a few minutes for DAYS.   

 

    

She now counts

 ketchup

 (straight from the packet)

and

 Tic Tacs

as nutritious meals

 for the M & Ms.

 

 

 

 

In the name of all that is holy,

 

 

DO NOT

FRIEND

THIS MERE SHELL OF A WOMAN!

 

 

 

 

And if you happen to work in

ANY

remotely-medically-related field

(data entry included):

 

 

 

REFUSE

 THIS WOMAN’S PLEA

FOR YOU TO

INSERT HER

CATHETER!

 

 

 

Is there a FACEBOOK ANONYMOUS group out there?

 
 
 
    

omg! thk g im no drg adct

 i wd b 2 stnd 2 rit!

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

 

 

 

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For the first time in the M & Ms’ short, little lives, SassyMama was able to stay home with them during the summer.  I looked forward to this time with my beloved babes, hoping to relish every moment of every day spent with my darling daughters.  Oh!  The things we would do together!  The books we would read!  The adventures we would have!  The “special time” we would cherish for the rest of our lives.  

 

Yeah, right.  That little pipe dream led straight down the crapper.  That bliss I had envisioned lasted all of two frippin’ days!  By day 3 of summer vaca, I was ready to rip my hair out by the roots and choke the little ‘tards!  “Endless Summer” has a brand new meaning for me, my friends:  Endless Summer of Screaming, Whining and Fighting is more like it!   WHAT was I thinking?!  They fought over everything imaginable:  clothes, Nintendo DS games, who got to ring the neighbor’s doorbell 1st, who got to press the buttons on the freakin’ washing machine…you name it, they fought for it.  My personal favorite was the wailing war over whose summer sandals Pappy was going to like best!   JC on high!!!!!  (and speaking of “high,” I now know why people take drugs).

 

I have had a headache the size of the tri-state area for 3 dagum months!   I went through 3 bottles of Extra-Strength Tylenol during my Endless Summer of Misery!  However, I am now in a 12-Step program to wean myself off.   The day before school started back up, I found my foggy self driving aimlessly through seedy downtown streets…I’m pretty sure, subconsciously,  I was cruising for a meth lab.  (Whew!  That Tylenol intervention was none too soon!)