Snickerfodder

Posts Tagged ‘words that start with “v”

  

  

VACATION

 

 

 is one of The Viv’s faVorite words.   

  

  

I would venture to say that it’s one of everyone’s faVorites. 

Not just because it’s fun to say and that it starts with the letter ‘V’.   

The attraction of the very word lies within the concept of  VACATING her day-to-day-mind-numbing-hellish LIFE.   

For The Viv,  the mere idea of VACATING and ESCAPING that oft-wretched suckfest of a life for one, measly frickin’ week a year

happens to be the lifeblood, that magic elixir, that gets her through the other miserable 51 weeks. 

  

  

The Viv

LIVES

for that single, precious, sustaining

semana

wherein she enjoys being

 

 

 

 

The Bon Vivant.

  

  

 

 

  

   Oh! 

 

 

     To FLEE!  

 

 

  

  

Toto

  

 

  

   Most days —

to

 

  

ANYWHERE

 

(including a well-padded maximum-security facility) 

(with really good food)

  

  

 

  

But, for that single-precious-sustaining semana,

  

The Bon Viv chooses,

  

 hands-down,

  

to be in

 

 

  

OCMD.

  

 

 

 

   There simply is

 NO OTHER

place

 I’d rather be. 

 

 

EVER.

 

 

 

   In fact,

  I want to

LIVE

 and

DIE

  there. 

 

 

 

It is my DREAM to live in one o’ those quaint little cottages on the boardwalk (preferably somewhere between 6th and 16th streets),

to wake every day to the brown ocean slapping the man-made jetty, and to spend my lazy days on my cute little porch gawking the

vacationers in their Sunsations-seasonal-skankwear parading and/or making dunderhead decisions in driving various non-motorized

vehicles up and down the boards. 

 

 

 

AAAHHHHHHHH….

  

 

 

 

As for dying in OCMD,

I, Sassy Viv,

 do hereby decree

my desire

to be

 

  cremated

 

 

 

 

I wish for my leathery cadaver  

to be 

charred

on the Bull on the Beach fryers. 

 

 

 

Then,

I want The Dingus

to put me into a lashed harness

(with 320 lb. twisted poly line, of course),

ram a sturdy spar and spreader

 up my crispy ass,

and then launch

my charred carcass

in front of

 

The Kite Loft

 

to allow my CinderViv self

to scatter 

across the boards and the beach. 

 

 

 

 

Ideally,

my cremation will take place

on a day with a wind 

that will carry my ashes

five blocks south

so that

Randy Hofman

can

incorporate

a little of

The Viv

into his Jesus sand sculptures.  

 

 

 

 

That’s the closest to

Heaven

The Viv will get.

 

 

EVER.

 

 

 

                      Yep, even The Viv!

 

 

 

 

 

 

        

 

      Proof

                   

    of

       

     REINCARNATION:

 

 

 

Ironically, this little one lives in a van down by the river.

 

  

  

  

  

In Bali,

an 18 year old kid

was caught

  

  

 humpin’ a heifer.

  

  

  

  

The cow,

  

he claimed,

  

was the

  

  

 

REINCARNATION

  

  

  

  

of a flirty woman

  

  

Sexy Beast

who had

 

seduced

 

him.

 

 

According to

Balinese law,

the kid had to

 

 

MARRY

 

 

 

THE

 

 

 

COW

 

 

 

 

in order to

 

cleanse

 

 the village.

 

 

 

 

 

Evidently, the 

 

vaca vixen

 

 was then

 

   ceremonially

 

drowned

 

  in the nearby river.

 

 

 

 

Poor cow.  

 

 

 

 

 

Now, I’m not so much into

 

 

BESTIALITY,

 

 

but

 

 

 I could go for some

 

 

 

REINCARNATION.

 

 

 

 

I mean,

 

if

 

 we are made of energy,

 

and

 

 

ENERGY

 

 

  

can be

 

neither

 

created

 

nor

 

destroyed,

 

 

 

when we

 

kick it,

 

 

 

 

 WHERE

 

DOES

 

THE

 

ENERGY

 

GO?

 

 

 

 

 

I like to think that

 

my energy,

 

my lifesource,

 

IF there BE

 

reincarnation,

 

 

WOULD NOT

 

 

end up bein’

 

bumrushed

 

by some

 

horny boy

 

with a

 

 

bovine BONER.

 

 

 

 

Instead,

 

I wanna come back as

 

 

 

The Dingus:

 

 

  

 

That sumbitch

 

has the life!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 “I believe … that the soul of man

is immortal

and will be treated with justice

in another life,

respecting its conduct in this.”

—Benjamin Franklin 

 

 

 

 Aw, HELL

 

 

that means

 

 

The Dingus

 

 

gets to keep

 

this

 

COW-bride.

 

(WHAT was I in my past life???)

I adore words — my favorite word in the world is snack.  I love how it smacks in the mouth.  I especially love to hear the flight attendant announce it.

(One might be surprised that my favorites don’t start with “F”.)

After some deliberation, however, I’ve come to the conclusion that all of my favorite words/terms  start with “V”  

 (in the order they pop into my vapid mind):

Vagina 

Vacation

Void

Vivid

Vortex

Vice

Vex

Visceral

Volition

Vehemence

Vehicular  manslaughter

Viagra

Vicodin

Vodka

Vivification

Vilify

Villain

Vim

Vigor

Vestige

Vermiculite

Vile

VIP

Voila!

Voodoo

Vintage

Verve

Vociferous

Voluptuous

Vivacious

Veritable

Vivarin

Verisimilitude

Very

Velociraptor

Venial

Venom

Vitriol

Vapid

Victory

Victim

Visit

Voltaire

Voce

Voice

Vicious

Vixen

Virgin

Vasectomy

Venerable

Venerate

Vacillate

Vulture

Votive

Vindication

Volt

Vindictive

Victorian

Vain

Victuals

Viper

Vox

Vulcan, God of Fire

Vacant

Vent

Via

Vain

Voluminous

Vice Versa

Vomitous

Vendetta

Volatile

Varmint

Verbatim

Verbose

Verbal

Verbiage

Vulgar

Vicissitude

Vat

Vast

Vitavitavotamin

Vote

Vendetta

Vamoose

Virtual

Vacuous

Vichyssoise

Velveteen

Vampire

Vamp

Vegetate

Vinny

Vector, Victor (as in what’s your?)

 

“V’s” pack more punch than any plosive or sibilant in my book.  Plus, they’re just too much fun for the tongue!

 

Next blog:  Viv’s Favorite Words From A-Z!